When people are unkind

“Why do people even have to be mean?”

Cory’s Job Coach asked, “What do you do when someone is unkind?”  Her question took me by surprise. 

My response was, “It happens so rarely, I’m not even sure how to respond. Tell me more.”  She went on to relate how this customer came through the line where Cory was bagging groceries.  She was in a big hurry and was very rude.  She needed help getting her groceries to the car so Cory and the Job Coach took them out for her. 

As Cory is taking a bag out of the cart, he knocks the cans that are hanging over the side of the cart onto the pavement.  One of the cans gets dinged up pretty well so the Job Coach offers to replace it.  The woman is not happy and says, “I’m in a hurry, how long is this going to take?” 

After going back and forth about it, Cory takes the damaged cans to customer service while the Job Coach goes to get a new one.  Unfortunately, there was only one package left and it was also damaged so it took longer than the Job Coach had hoped.  The customer came into the store, now even more unhappy than before. 

After getting everything worked out, she makes the comment, “The management here has really hired poorly this time.”  This about brought our dear Job Coach to tears.  She was frustrated, and very hurt by this woman’s comment.  You can about imagine the possible comebacks floating around in her head.  Thankfully, she didn’t share any of them. 

My response is that when things like this happen – and again, they are rare – it is more of a reflection on the unhappy person than on anything Cory does or who he is.  When people like this cross our path, I tend to feel pity for them and I always say a prayer for them.  Sometimes, they make me very angry and it can be hard to let it go but I make the decision that they will not rob me of my joy. 

When they walk away, we’re done with them and we get to get back to experiencing Cory’s joy and the many people who receive it from him.  “That woman” will carry around her anger and meanness and will not get away from it.  I once heard it said that broken people have sharp edges and I believe it to be true. 

That same day, I called a sandwich shop to order a dinner for Cory because we had a busy night ahead and I wanted to pick it up before I got him from work.  When I placed the order, the young man on the other end said, “Is this for the guy who works at the grocery store down the street?” (Cory does have a rather unusual order.) I said if he meant, Cory, yes it is.  He said, “I just love it when he comes in here, he always makes my day. I’ve seen him over at his job too and he is always so happy and friendly. I got a new job so I won’t be working here much longer and I’m really going to miss seeing him.  I’ll just have to make sure I go see him when he’s working so I can say hi and get some of his joy.” 

The very next day, another person made a point of coming over to me to tell me how much she loves going to see Cory when he’s working because he’s just so happy and friendly.  Yet another person told me about how Cory had “pounced” (my word, not theirs) on them from behind and how his enthusiasm and greeting made their day.  These are three examples in less than a 24 hour span.  That grumpy lady is honestly the only one I can remember happening this year. I’m sure there are others but I release them and choose to think about the positive comments.